Busbee(USA), Alex James(UK), Kalle Engstrom(Sweden), and other composers from all over the world have collaborated to create this song. The new American popstar, Ke$ha, recorded a "guide version"** of the song before her debut around August 2008, as she is close with one of the composers.
There has been cases where Ke$ha's guide version has been taken down from Youtube as it was illegally leaked and uploaded. Thus, SNSD is the first to be officially presenting this song.
Questions of Life
-Can you cry under water?
-How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
-If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
-Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
-Why do you have to "put your two cents in", but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
-Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
-Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
-What disease did cured ham actually have?
-How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
-Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
-If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
-If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
-Why are you IN a movie but you're ON TV?
-Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
-Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
-If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
The LAPD, CIA, and FBI were all trying to prove that they were the best at apprehending criminals. The President decided to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After 3 months of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After 2 weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out 2 hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
Some of the Indian Marketing slogans:
1) Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother!
2) Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives.
3)Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.
4)A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough -or else they never will be.....
5)Sign in a restaurant:
All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.
THE BEST ONE :
6) Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc. Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God.
-Indian Armed Forces
One day a farm implement salesman visited a new potential customer in hopes of selling him the latest, greatest and most expensive piece of farm machinery his company had ever produced. He found the farmer sitting in the barn with his head in his hands. The salesman introduced himself and explained why he was there.
"Well," said the farmer, "If you can do something for me, I'll buy one of those fancy gadgets."
The salesman could barely contain his excitement at the prospect of such a huge sale, afterall, there was nothing he wouldn't do to make this sale. "Sure," said the salesman, "Just name it!"
"Well," started the farmer, "this morning I came down to the barn to milk Bessie. I put the stool down beside her and the pail under her and was just about to begin milkin' when she got up an' kicked me with her right hoof. I took a piece of rope and tied her right leg to the side of the stall and went around to the left side of her with my stool. I no sooner got sittin' when she got up an' kicked me with her left hoof. I took another piece of rope and tied her left leg to the other side of the stall. Then I took the stool around to the back of her and sat down and was just about to start milkin' when she got up again and swats me in the face with her tail. I didn’t have any more rope so I took off my belt and stood up on the stool and proceeded to tie her tail to the ceiling and of course my pants slided down to my ankles. Right then my wife walks in. If you can convince my wife that all I was going to do was milk the cow, I'll buy one of them things."
A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.
"I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."
Nine hands went up.
"Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.
"Too much trouble," came the reply.
Jones had for years refused to take planes, and all arguments urging him to do so were made in vain. Finally, one friend said in exasperation, "Listen, why don't you take a philosophic approach? Tell yourself that if your number isn't up, then it isn't up, and take the plane."
"Ah," said Jones, "and what difference would it make if my number wasn't up, if the pilot's number is up?"
Introductory Chemistry at Duke University has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk, and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry." He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this.
Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to UVirginia and party with some friends up there.
So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to UVa for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus.
Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page.
They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said:
(95 points) Which tire?
Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son
Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride".
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case..."
Next Jack approaches Bill Gates
Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case..."
Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case....."
This is how business is done!!
These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.
* "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
* "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
* "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
* "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"
* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
* "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
* "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
* "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
* "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
* "The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
* "The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."
* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
* "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
* "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
* "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
* "Liter: A nest of young puppies."
* "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
* "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
* "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
* "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
* "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
* "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."
* "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
From the Russian newspaper: La Pravda
Archeological searches indicate advanced civilisation 1000 years ago
Scholars from Moscow university, having digged 30 meters deep, have found a long network of metal wires, thus proving that 1000 years ago, Russians had a fully operating telegraph network...
Next month, from American Newspaper: USA Today
Searches by archeologists indicate advanced civilisation 3000 years ago
After the discovery at Moscow, our scientists have digged deep into the the ground, and at a depth of 50 meters, they found an intense network of optical wire, proving that 3000 years ago, Americans already had a full telephone network, thus outsmarting the Russians by more than 2000 years...
A week later, from Singapore Newspaper: Straits Times
Archeologist searches indicate advanced civilisation 5000 years ago
After the discoveries at Moscow and America, scientists have digged 100 meters into the ground and found nothing. This proves that Singapore already had a fully functional wireless network 5000 years ago, making us the most advanced country in the world.
After a month-long holiday in the US , my wife and I finally boarded
the plane in San Francisco last Sunday heading home.
As the plane reached cruising speed with the seat belt sign switched
off, a 6 ft 3' black man with the build of Mike Tyson in the front row
got up from his seat, turned to face the back, raised his arm and
yelled, 'HIJACK!'
Everyone was frozen to the seat, expecting the worst to happen
And two air marshals were about to jump onto this guy to overpower him
when another voice answered from the back of the plane: 'HI JOHN!'
Marriage jokes
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand God. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
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If you are married please ignore this message.
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day.
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking.
It's called marriage.
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Girlfriends are like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there's no choice.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going through hell.
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
Once: upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
>After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life
>together was, of course, perfect.
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>One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their
>perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the
side
>of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to
help.
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>There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to
>disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple
>loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
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>Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
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>Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect
>couple; and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the
>accident.
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>Question: Who was the survivor?
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>Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a
>perfect man.
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>**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
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NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so
that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you
are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead
friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases
where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in
the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict
three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an
alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will
open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture
will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the
company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that
they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed
to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and
input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
what starts with a T ends with a T and has T in it?
Smart People
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said...'where???'
***
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction
was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook
her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.'
***
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
***
I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin.
She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene,
I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kgr.
***
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk...
***
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and
gave us a 20% discount....
***
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to
an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned
her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance
apart no matter which way the head is turned...
***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage
office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and
told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
***
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces
or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces;
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)
Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs.Smith
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result
shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.
A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the
Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had so far remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
'You try again.'
How do you drown a blonde?
You stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
Why do farts smell?
so deaf people can enjoy them too!
whats the difference between tiger woods and Santa?
Santa sticks to 3 hos :)
Would a lion cheat on his wife?
No, but a tiger wood.
The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats.
So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.
To the British he said. 'You must act like gentlemen.' They jumped.
To the Americans he said, 'You can be heroes.' They complied.
To the Germans he said, 'It's the rule.' They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said,' It's the consensus.' They obliged.
Then came the Singaporeans and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: 'Free life jackets for those who jumped!'
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party
